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So I drive by this house several times a week.
I love it. I think it must have been such a cute house.
I always look at it and wonder,
How did someone let it get like this?
Didn't somebody love this house?
Did they raise a family here? Have parties here?
Was there love inside?
This must have been somebody's safe place at one time.
How did it become broken and forgotten?
Neglect is a funny thing.
Everyone is it's victim.
It doesn't hate you.
It doesn't even really care.
Unlike guilt who is noisy and demands attention,
neglect is quiet.
It just sits in the corner hoping to be ignored.
Neglect just sort of happens.
It happens in seconds or over decades.
It only takes a moment for a baby to roll off a couch.
Dinner burns in just minutes.
A few hours outside in the July sun without sunscreen? Yeah.
If I go days without doing laundry for seven people, I pay for it.
Imagine a couple weeks worth of weeds.
I haven't blogged for a month.
A year ago I said I was going to re-stain the deck.
Neglect is patient.
Sometimes it takes decades to realize that you
have lost part of who you are.
What about that childhood friend that made you laugh till' you peed?
Do you miss her?
Has she fallen into the "I have too much going on" pile.
What about that beautiful landscape
you've always wanted to try painting?
Has that been hidden under
that stack of "I've got to paint the living room."
What about that 15 year old girl that wanted to visit
every baseball field in America?
Is she still in there?
Or has she been brushed under that pesky
"I don't have time for that" rug.
We all have many things going on in our lives.
Many important and essential things.
We all do good things.
But do you ever just sit back and look at certain aspects of your life and think,
How did I let it get like this?
Didn't I love this part of me enough?
Isn't that dream important any more?
Didn't I want to be better at that?
I think this week I will turn the t.v. off or
*shudder*
tell someone no. (can I do that?)
and I will spend that time
pampering some part of me that has been pushed to the way side.
Even if it's just one little corner...
like calling an old friend,
doing a paint by number picture with your kid,
or watching a baseball game on t.v.
it's a start.
Here's to paying attention.
