I Want To Sing and Dance

My rockin' husband got me tickets to Wicked for my birthday
and it was amazing. I loved every bit of it.
I am and always have been a sucker for musicals for many reasons.
I love music. I mean I really love all kinds of music.
There's just something really great about a song.
The way a song can move you tears
or make you want to cheer.
Silly or sentimental, songs affect emotions.
And I am always amazed that people
can just open their mouths and make that sound come out. I love a good song.
It's like really great story telling with creamy frosting added on top.
I love watching people dance.
I have always secretly wanted to be a really great dancer.
Unfortunately, I have no rhythm.
When people make fun of people who can't dance...
yeah, that's me they're laughin' at.
I love to pick out one or two people in the chorus
and I watch them the whole time.
They become my dancers.
The dances in musicals are like the yummy sprinkles on the creamy frosting.
I love me a good happy ending.
You can always count on a happy ending in a musical.
The guy always gets the girl, the team always wins, good always conquers evil.
Heck, even the musical titled "The Miserable Ones"
ends with everyone dancing and singing at a joyful wedding.
My favorite part of any musical is the fact that everyone involved,
even the bad guys,
automatically know the lyrics and choreography.

Wouldn't it be fun to be at the grocery store
and bust out in song and dance about the price of produce?
Or how about a fun little ditty about carburetors and shock absorbers
while waiting to get your tires rotated?
What would be sung about at a PTA meeting?

This was emailed to me a while ago and I immediately put it on my favorites.
Whether you like musicals or not, this is really fun to watch.






So next time you're waiting (and waiting, and waiting) at the Dr.'s office,
look around and imagine everyone joining in as you jump up and start singing,
"I Love Your Stethoscope".

Busted by The Population Police.

So the kids are off-track (joy) and we need something from Costco (curse those Extra Fancy Mixed Nuts). We decide to meet Greg for lunch. Now I hardly ever take all 5 of the kids to any store, let alone Costco for fear of getting the "It's called Birth Control" look from random strangers. My other favorite: "Are they all yours"?.....Really? You think I would bring neighbor kids to Costco?
We had lunch with Greg and the kids were great. I even got a salad instead of a slice of that evil Costco pizza. Whatever.
While shopping we got a few looks and one lady even sighed out loud when she had to wait 3.4 seconds for us to get out of her way.
Now Greg thinks I imagine these looks, sighs, eye-rolls. But it's like I can feel them turn around and look at us as we pass by. And I'm sure he may be right.
But today, it was very real.

After we were done shopping (The kids were almost angelic by the way) we were out in the parking lot. As we got to our rockin' mini-van,
this pulls up next to us.

and then this gets out
and she's carrying this
and wearing theseAnd then this gets out of the back seat.

We're parked next to the shopping cart return so while she is putting her 'tot of perfection' into their cart, I see him point in our direction (most likely at the plethora of kid food) and innocently say, "Mommy, what is that?"

Trendy mom answers "That is someone who has too many children."
Robot Tot says, "Too many children?
Wannabe Paris says, "Yes, more than she can handle".



Oh yes, she did.
You know that filter that we have in the brain? The one that keeps you from saying inappropriate or offensive things? Yeah, I not only got mine but I think
Simon Cowell's and Kathy Griffin's were thrown in too.
I must have gotten this 'ladies' as well because I didn't say anything....
What!?! You didn't say anything Mindy?
I know, I know.
First of all, I was so stunned I didn't know what to say.
I hate confrontation and I don't want anybody's feelings hurt. If my food isn't exactly the way I ordered it, I just keep it and eat it and say "oh well". Most of the time I don't go back if the drivethru girl forgot part of my order. Whatever. I don't know why I do this.

What should I have said? What would you have said?

I couldn't believe she had said it. I mean, I wasn't judging her that she looked like 'Plastic Mom Barbie'. Okay, so I just did but hey, I didn't say it to her in front of her kid.
She can keep her Fendi bag and her bad attitude. And the van may look and smell like a rained out soccer game but at least I don't care if my hair gets wet at said game.
And besides, those shoes wouldn't look good on me anyway.
I should have had the devil pizza.

Who wants to look like Heidi Klum anyway?

So I have a tiny smidge of an obsession with Super model Heidi Klum.

Maybe it's the stunning beauty,
the super cute German accent,
or the down to earth attitude she seems to possess.

Anyone who looks like this


when they're expecting their 4th child
And then looks like this shortly after


must surely be from another planet.
Whatever it is, I think she is uber cool.
Anyhoo, I was reading something the other day about her and
this picture


was on the screen.
My darling little Olivia asks me who she is.
I tell her that she is a lady that tries on clothes and has a t.v. show
and is going to have another baby.

I say, "Isn't she pretty?"
Olivia says: "Yeah. She is a really beautiful mom."
And then she says: "You're just a regular mom."

Yep. But at least I'm sure I'm not an alien.

I called the Witch Doctor, He told me what to do....

And I thought I had a crazy day.
Just goes to prove the old saying...
Keep your friends close, Keep your enemies closer, and for sure, Keep your Food Stamps in your pocket.

and p.s. How does one go about finding a witch dr.? Are they located in the Yellow Pages?

Woman hires witch doctor, files complaint over curse

April 15th, 2009 @ 8:44am

By Mary Richards

OGDEN -- Ogden police received a complaint from a woman who says someone put a curse on her, forcing her to hire a witch doctor.

Police say Jennifer Madrigal called them around 10 a.m. Tuesday to file a harassment complaint against Guadalupe Fernandez Andrade, who Madrigal claimed had put a spell on her.

The curse was that Madrigal would be hit by a car.

Madrigal was upset that she had to hunt down a witch doctor and pay $800 for a ritual involving an egg to reverse the spell.

The Standard-Examiner reports the relationship between the women is unclear, but the curse apparently came after a dispute over food stamps.

Ogden police tell the Standard-Examiner this could be the strangest call they've ever received.

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=6163738

Judgy, Judgy Bo Budgy

Okay, so I'm the first to admit that I judge people. One of my favorite activities is people watching. I do it everywhere. At the movies, at the mall, the zoo, amusement parks, wherever. My favorite is the airport.

I think we all judge people to some extent. You can't help but do it. And when I say judge, I don't mean the 'I bet she doesn't get her laundry done or have dinner on the table every night' kind of judging. (that's just being silly). I'm talking about the 'try and guess what they would be like if you were stuck in an elevator with them for 2 minutes' kind of judging. Would they annoy you? Would you be intimidated by them? Could you guess how they treat their loved ones?

Seriously, we all do it. I think it's okay to do it. In some cases (dark alleys) it's necessary.
I love to see if I can guess their mood or what kind of job they have. I love to add my own little thought bubbles to the expressions I see on faces. It's fun for me and I feel like I'm pretty okay at figuring somebody out fairly quickly.

You know, like if I saw this guy

I would assume that he likes the color purple.

Or if I ran into this woman,

I would guess that maybe she has possibly had a little work done.

Then I watched this woman. I am going to call her
"The Little 48 yr. old, Unemployed, Never Been Kissed,
Singing Cat Lady That Could".
Susan for short.
Please watch the whole thing. I know your time is precious and I appreciate that but go get a snack or make sure your boss isn't watching,
(or bring em' over to watch it with you)
or put a DVD on for the kids for a minute or two. It's worth it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut68Set-w0o

If she doesn't inspire you to give people another shot at a first impression,
nothin' will.

I was right there with everyone else waiting for the sour notes or the cheesy gimmick.
What an unexpected and much needed reminder that I can be surprised in some way by
every single person I meet.
Every stranger I sit and stare at has some hidden treasure inside of them. Maybe they are a great artist. Maybe a poet or an athlete. Maybe they make the best bundt cake around.
I am going to try harder to find those nice, hidden surprises in other people. And not only strangers but people I know and love.
Maybe I'll even try and re-locate some of the ones I have forgotten about, lost, or just absently kicked under the couch next to that matchbox car and missing Polly Pocket shoe.

Now go and surprise yourself and then pick up that book that you didn't like the cover of.

Baby wipes vs. wrinkles....Wrinkles win every time.

So I was doing something today and I guess I was concentrating and making a face.
Ethan came in and sat there for a while just watching me work.
Here is our conversation.

Ethan: Mom, what you got der?

Me: Where?

Ethan: Right der, on you fohead.

Me: You mean my skin?

Ethan: Yeah. It's bumpy.

Now he's got my face in his hands and he proceeds to push and pull
on the skin on my forehead. He tries with great effort to wipe the 'bumps' from
my forehead with his hand. By this time I'm smiling and so naturally he notices the lines
around the corners of my eyes and around my mouth.
Now he tries to wipe them away.

Look of frustration on his face.

Ethan: Hold on Mommy.

He comes back a minute or two later with a wipe in hand.
He turns me around and ever so gently tries to wash off the lines and bumps.

look of determination.
more force in the attempt.

He finally steps back and looks me right in the eye.

Ethan: Sorry Mom. Dose are stuck on der.