Serenity Now!!!

So I've always felt that I'm a fairly calm person.

I'm pretty patient.

I like to think I gots some skillz in seeing the good in things.

A "glass half full" kinda girl.

I'm pretty relaxed and

it takes quite a bit to get me riled up.

Even during the holiday season when I'm surrounded

by "button pushers"

like this:

No biggie.

It's like a puzzle.

And this one:

Piece of cake.

It's like meeting new friends.

And this:?

It's not as scary as it looks.

Makes ya feel alive!!

And I never worry about this one:


I mean, it's not like I ate the entire plate of cookies and fudge.

And sure...this:

may be what's happened to Christmas.

But I don't sweat it.

Even with all the commercialism crap

that gets shoved down their throats,

I feel like my kids have a pretty good

grasp on the reason we celebrate.

So despite all the craziness of shopping, wrapping, cooking,

preparing and planning that went into the big day,

when I saw the pure joy and the genuine surprise on

my kid's faces when they got

that certain item they were wishing for....

it was all entirely worth it.

It was lovely.

.

.

.

.

And then came these:

The genius who thought of these is an agent of the devil himself.

If I ever meet this evil Einstein,

I will shove a silicone packet down his throat and then

I will strangle him with a plastic twist tie.

Next, I will screw his buttocks to a piece of cardboard

and then I will shove him into hard plastic and

seal it up so tightly that no amount of

pulling, twisting or saying of bad swears

will undo his situation.

I want one of these:

This, surely was created by some heavenly being....

or a fed up parent of an impatient child.

Either way, he is my new hero.





Look at it. It's like some sort of magic.

Hope you had a relaxing Christmas.

shiny, happy people.

Don't we all just look merry and bright?
Greg just loves this tradition.

Seriously?!?

It's annoying that she looks this good days before birth anyway...







But then she goes and looks like this a mere six weeks later.





That's 41 days people.
I'm still wearing maternity pants 41 days later.
If I wasn't so obsessed with her.... I would hate her.

HO! HO! Hmmmm!!

Dear Santa,

I've been thinking.
You're getting the better end of this deal.
I do all of the work and you get all of the credit.
I say, next year...we switch.

You can spend December running all over town trying to find the best deals on the best gifts.
It's always easy finding parking spots and dealing with grumpy sales girls.
Don't worry,shipping and handling doesn't add up to very much.
Putting lights and decorations up is fast. It only takes a few days.
And then just a few short weeks later, you get to take them all down again.
It's a ball.
You'll love wrapping presents.
Don't sweat it, there's no stress.

I will spend December starring in t.v. movies and specials.
I'll make all of the appearances at parades and parties.
I'll eat cookies and drink hot cocoa.
It will finally be acceptable when my body parts jiggle.
And then I'll take a year long vacation before I have to make another appearance.
I'm feeling jolly just thinking about it.
I think it's a great plan.
So? Whad'ya say?

XO,

p.s. will you please tell your mall "helpers" to stop promising things like ponies.

No refunds or exchanges!!

So Greg has this really nice, watch that he loves.
He realizes one day that it is not working.

He changes the batteries..still no ticking.
He takes it to a watch shop and they can't fix it.
Greg gets mad that this 'supposedly' fantastic watch no longer works for him.

He takes it back to the manufacturer and insists on a new watch or his money back.

They happily oblige and he walks away with the newer, shinier model.

He's very happy.

Next thing I know, we're over at my parent's house.

He's saying things like, "doesn't work anymore" and "not what I agreed to".

He stands there fully expecting a refund or exchange.

And then my dad simply nods his head and pulls out his wallet and says,

"How much do I owe you"?

And then I woke up.

I've got to stop drinking Dr. Pepper before bed.

I'm gonna go make sure Greg's watch is working

and then I'm gonna do some laundry.

In every job that must be done....

They say that cleaning a house while children live there

is like shoveling the walk while it's still snowing.

Some days feel like a light flutter and others feel like a

category 6 blizzard.
When I was a kid, I shared a

room with my two sisters.

Needless to say, it was difficult

to keep a tidy room.

I HATED when we had to clean it.

I knew if I ever got a genie in a bottle

(which I totally thought was possible until I was about 12)

that I would only need one of the three promised wishes.

Not money, not a bigger house, not the latest toy.

No. I wanted something much

more valuable.

I wanted so badly

to be able to snap my fingers like Mary Poppins

and have things magically put themselves away.

Oh to have that amazing power.

That would still be my one wish.

Imagine all the extra time.

So, while cleaning is not my favorite thing

I do love a clean house.

So this off track we did some deep cleaning in the basement.

You know the kind that only happens a few times a year.

The baseboards get cleaned, the walls washed, the mattresses vacuumed.

Every nook and cranny is attended to.
We went through clothes and shoes and discarded the things we no longer need.

We threw away papers and trinkets,

and got rid of the one-armed barbies and hairless dolls.

It was quite an undertaking.

I hate doing this but love the end result.

This is the first time I really involved the girls in this process.

You all know that it's so much easier to just do it yourself

but I feel it is important to teach them at a younger age so

that when they move out of my home,

they will know how to keep their home.

After three days and a few temper tantrums

(by everyone involved)

we had a very clean and organized basement and bedrooms.

Nothing was out of it's appropriate place.

The girls were especially proud of their efforts

and were very excited to show Daddy.

After we had the talk about how lovely their spaces were

and how important it is to keep things neat and clean,

the girls each promised me that they would keep things as they were.

I actually had some confidence in them.

I walked out of Makenna and Olivia's room and heard this conversation.

Olivia: "I love when our room is so clean".

Makenna: "Me too. Don't you think we should keep it like this all the time".

Olivia: "Yeah. We should...

.

.

.

But we probably won't".

I better get a bigger shovel.

Safe and Sound

So today is Veteran's Day. My big brother Dan is a Veteran and since he already thinks I have Velveeta Cheese running through my veins, I won't care if he hates this post. (like he even reads this blog anyway).

Dan has always been big and strong and a little sceeery.

When we were kids he would simply give me the "sideway snarl" and I would pee my pants.

He was always causing mischief.
If he wasn't getting in trouble for kicking his Kindergarten teacher,

he was getting scolded for teasing me.

If there had been 'time out' back then, he would have permanent seat marks on his behind.

Dan would like everyone to think he's a scary grizzly bear. But he's more like "Grumpy, Reluctantly Protective Care Bear".

One of my earliest memories of Dan involved the school bus and him being kicked off said school bus. He got into a fight and the bus driver gave him the boot. Like a scene from a bad after school special, I looked out the back window of the bus, 1st grade fingers against the window as I watched my brother kick the bus as it drove away and he had to walk home.

This was the first time I remember Dan 'protecting' me. He probably doesn't even remember but the fight was about me. A stinky boy had made fun of me and hurt my feelings. I don't know if Dan felt protective of me or was just mad that somebody other than him had made me cry.

When I was about 10 he found out that I was madly in love with Jimmy Jeppson. He teased me about every other second and would try to embarass me whenever he could. But...he always seemed to make sure I was invited to things that he knew Jimmy would be at.

My Sophmore year of High School, I had the privelidge and honor of riding to school with Dan in his very cool red and white pickup truck. I thought Dan was the coolest thing ever with his football and basketball friends. And while I thought Dan was awesome, he didn't quite feel the same about me and would park the truck in the corner of the parking lot and make me walk either ahead of him or behind him into school.

Of course, this only lasted until he realized that I had super cute friends and then I became somewhat tolerable and was included in activities where his friends were. When one of those cute friends (with a somewhat sketchy rep) started flirting with me, he put a stop to it quickly by informing said friend that I was "Off Limits!!" I'm sure this friend had no interest in me but I knew that my brother was watching out for me and my little sophmore girl feelings.

There were many times when he would try to be tough. One time he kicked me and my friend Melissa out of his truck because we were being "annoying". We started walking home in the dark and got really scared when we saw headlights following behind us in the distance. We thought for sure it was someone going to 'get us'. We found out later it was Dan following us to make sure we got home okay. Big softy.

After High School, Dan joined the Army. He was our Citizen Soldier. He joined at the 'safest time ever' the army recruiter said. Soon after, he was in Saudi Arabia. He always says, "It was no big deal" and that "I was never in any real danger". I don't care what he says, anyone who would willingly go to another country where bombs and guns are in the hands of people who want to hurt you, all to protect complete strangers....that's a special kind of brave.

Dan was always a teensy bit intimidating and I think he may have acted that way on purpose so that we would always do what he said. But his jig was up when I saw him holding his little newborn son and when I heard him singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to his little girl. I knew that it had been an act the whole time. His cover was blown.

Dan is a great father and husband and an amazingly hard worker. He is super smart at everything and he speaks Italian. How cool is that?

He's one of those people that doesn't say a lot but what he says is intelligent and worthwhile.

I knew that I could marry Greg when Dan gave me his approval.

Although his hugs and "I love you's" are rare, they are completely sincere and etched into your memory forever.

I think he is such a good person. And I am so proud to say that I'm his sister.

And he can make fun of me forever, but he will receive a "Happy Veteran's Day" phone call from me every year. Love you.

Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for another.
It's one thing to protect and die for those you love. But these soldiers do it for people they will never know. People who disrespect and abuse their freedoms. People who take it for granted.

I cannot express how much love and respect I have for these men and women and their families who sacrifice so much for a country full of people who will skip over this day without much more thought than that it's a Wednesday.

I'm such a sucker for Veterans. You can count of me crying and standing when the Vets go by in the parade. Whether in War or peacetime, I think these are the bravest people ever. And the funny thing is, they're probably all a little like Dan. A big teddy bear trying to come across as Grizzlies.

I hope we all (no matter what our political views are) remember them and what they do every day for us.

Here's to feeling protected.

Happy Veteran's Day.

Is there a Dr. in the house?

So anyone who knows me well, knows of my affection for Dr Pepper.

I'm not even sure when this love for the 23 flavors originated.

Growing up I never hit anything harder than a Sprite or a Root Beer.

I didn't even really like the taste of carbonation or caffeine.

I don't know when it began, I only know that I cannot stop it.

I really have put forth an effort to stop drinking it. I know going 'cold turkey' would just be foolish and so I have tried to drink it only when we go out or on special occasions.

I've been fairly successful and don't even miss it most of the time.

Then there are the other times.....

The "Pepper Junkie" moments. The times when I feel like I have to 'score' some of the Dr and will sink to any 'crack house low' to get some.

Sometimes I feel like I'm one 'hit' away from a mugshot on the 10:00 news.

I am ashamed.

There have been moments of such desperation that I have resorted to drastic measures...

These may or may not include:
eating a tube of Dr Pepper lip smackers.....I know.....I know.

swiping a dusty, very old can of Dr. Thunder from the corner of my mother's garage.

feigning a desperate need for a gallon of milk (for the children) at 11:58 p.m. on a Saturday night...

I am not proud of these moments of weakness.

I just looooove that ice cold goodness flowing through my veins.

I'm thinking of re-hab but not really.

I think it's appropriate that this beverage is named after a Dr.

It really is. His name was Dr. Charles Pepper. The inventor named it after the Dr. that owned the drugstore where he worked as a kid.

Anyhoo. Dr Pepper is like therapy for me.

There are many substitutes but there is no replacement.

So let's look at this from a medical perspective shall we?

When one is need of medical attention there are many options.
Let's say you have cut your finger off.

(maybe because you were unable to concentrate due to a severe caffeine deficiency)

Option One:

You may think..I can't afford to go to the hospital or I don't really NEED medical help.

I'll try and fix it myself. You find a few of your eye make-up remover pads, some duct tape and a couple tylenol. You have your kid stick the finger on as best she can and call it good.
This is equivelent to

Eating a tube of Dr Pepper Lip Smacker. Not wise on any level and just plain sad.

Option Two:

You think... Iguess I really should do something to fix this.

You go to the Instacare. You get stuck with the 1st year medical student who looks 15 years old. He talks to himself and looks in his textbook. He calls you the wrong name. He asks the nurse what to do. He eventually gets it together and sews your finger back on. He sends you home with some Ibuprofen and a hopeful look on his face.

You painfully realize that he is not even a real dr...He is only a Mr.

A Mr. Pibb that is. He will do in a pinch but it's a sloppy job and it still hurts.

Option Three:

You think...I'll get it fixed.....but I won't like it.

You go to the E.R. You get a pretty, skinny Dr. She looks like a Dr. She acts like a Dr. She smells like a Dr. She is all business. She is not sweet. She appears to be the real thing but there is just something missing. You can't figure it out but there is just something that is not as it should be.

She's trying just a little too hard. She is..

Diet Dr Pepper.

She'll do.... but it's just not the same.

Option Four:

You think....I know I need to take care of this now before it gets worse. I know I need the best.

You go to your Dr's office. The Dr. who delivered you, gave you your shots, talked to you about the birds and the bees. The Dr. who knows your name, your medical history. He knows you like the red lolipops..not the green ones. He cares for you and wants what is best for you.

You don't even remember you were injured.

He is a good man. He is a real Dr.

He is Dr. Pepper. He is comfort.

He is a cool glass filled to the brim with the 'good ice'.

He is a bendy straw stiring around and around as the condensation trickles down the outside of the glass. He is the bubbly sensation that dances on the surface of your tongue.

He is gentle relief after a painful day.

You love him.

Option Four:

You go see the kid who dressed up like a dr. for Halloween in Elementary school

but grew up to be the cheesy weather guy.

He is Dr. Thunder.

He doesn't even count.

.


.

.

.

.

.

.

.

unless you're holding the Dr Pepper Lip Smacker in your hand.......at that point it's a toss-up.

Now go get yourself a nice, cold beverage and enjoy two of my favorite dr pepper commercials. The first one is for Diet Dr Pepper.
Appropriately, it is in 2nd place.

The second video is by far one of the funniest commercials ever.

And if you've seen any mormon movies, you may recognize the girl. She was in Errand of Angels and The 2nd Singles Ward movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQPN3UKQM-U

ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6SoqMPhDXQ

Wrappers, Shrappers

Clearly I am not the favorite parent.

This

is what she

brought home for him...

Whatever!!

wrappers are overrated.

btw, my 'treats' were Hot Tamales.

That ain't no candy coated shell...

How do you determine how much love you have for someone?

How does one express the depth of your emotion for another person?

What lengths will you go to prove your devotion?

She bounces in the door from school.

She smiles.

She has twinkly eyes.

She has a surprise for you.

She gently hands them to you from her sticky 6 year old fingers.

She kept them carefully in her pocket all day.

She only showed them to three friends. (only two friends held them).

She only dropped one of them on the cafeteria floor.

She says, " I remember they are your favorite".

She watches your face expentantly.

She waits.

You ignore the 'extra coating'.

You hesitantly put the little 'morsels' in your mouth and make "mmm" sounds.
You hug her and say thank you.

She smiles.

She has sparkly eyes.

She skips away.

She knows you love her.

You know she loves you.

You find the Listerine...quickly.

Disposable Zombie Mom

This was me over the weekend.

Not so pretty eh?

I was in bed all weekend.

I had Mastitis, a killer head cold

and a slight touch of the

Boo Hoos.

Not a great combo.

I was pretty much out from

Friday night to Sunday.

How does a family survive

without Mom?

They have a dad like him.

Yeah. He pretty much took over.

Not only did he get them all to their soccer games,

he got them there early. Yes, I said it,

the Dibbles arrived somewhere early.

He could have made cereal but

he made ham sandwiches.

He could have put on a movie

but he played games.
He only woke me up to feed the baby.

They made Quesadillas and Popcorn.
All children were put to bed happy.

Sunday morning he went to his meetings and choir

and came home and got everyone ready.

2 boys bathed...check.

3 girls hair done....check.

(he even straightened their hair)

Off to church.

They come home happy and hungry.

I say, "Oh, just do Macaroni and Cheese or

Ramen Noodles or cereal".

Oh no, not my Super daddy man.

He comes up with this.

You're probably thinking.....

What a great dad, husband, person, superhero guy.

You are right.

But I'm thinking.....

Oh crap!! Now they all know for sure that

they don't need me.

Hopefully he'll keep me around

for this part.

I'm feeling a little better today.

I'm still not quite myself.

Case in point...

I watched 'Star Wars' by myself.

Yeah, Greg wasn't even there.

Okay, 2 things about Star Wars...

1. I never realized how whiney Luke is.

2. Chewbaca and R2D2 are my favorite characters.

What does that say about me that I can't understand a

thing that my 2 favorite characters say?

I'll be better tomorrow.

I hope.

Here's to my Rockstar husband

and to modern medicine.

p.s. I hate fruit flies more than anything.

Junk Drawer Imagination

So the kids spent some time over at

Poppy's house a while back.

They came home thrilled about all the

work they did helping Poppy clean out his junk drawers.

They were so excited to share with me all of the

amazing new treasures that Poppy let them keep.

Very useful things like this never been used lotion cap.

And this key ring decoration that

I think I had on my first keyring at 16 years old.

You can clearly see that it is in pristine condition

and worth keeping.

And of course, the very rare

"rubber bottom of a cane or walker thingy".

All very useful and important things, no?

I rolled my eyes and giggled at my cute dad.

I saw useless, nothingness.

My clever children saw this.

They saw a great little game to play.

The girls were overjoyed at Ethan's reaction to the

mini baseball game.

They spent hours (okay, 25 minutes)

throwing the lotion cap ball,

watching Ethan (amazingly) hit it with the Munchkin bat,

while trying desperately to catch it in the

"rubber, bottom of a cane or walker thingy" glove.

I have stepped on the "ball" many times,

I've found the "bat" in the utensil drawer

and I've watched my baby shove the "glove" in his mouth.

(I can't think about that one too much without throwing up a little)

I have wanted to throw this preemie pastime in the garbage

on several occasions. I just can't quite do it.

They're just too sweet a reminder of the

easiness of childhood.

Plus it's going to make Christmas shopping a breeze.

Now I just have to figure out how to wrap the junk drawer.

Dear Fall,

Took a drive through the mountains.

Please accept my deepest and

most sincere apologies.

You are lovely.

Love,

Mindy.

p.s. Could you please stay around

a little longer this year?

I like you, but I don't like your

ugly step-sister...winter.