Shopping karma

So it never fails that I pick the wrong line at the store.

Doesn't matter if the lady in front of me has 2 items or 102 items,

I always end up waiting.

It's like some evil witch put a curse on me when I stole a

candy bar at the checkout when I was 7.

(to this day I can't eat a Snicker's without a twinge of guilt)

I will always pick the wrong line to wait in.

This summer as I watched my cute girls pretend to shop at the

children's museum I realized that my horrible curse has been

passed on to my innocent children.

Such a tragedy.

Balanced meal?!?

So ya know when kids start thinking they're big enough

to make their own plates at family parties?

Ethan thought it was time for him to be a 'big boy' and

dish up his own plate at a recent family party.

I decided to let him go for it and see if he has listened to

me when I lecture the kids about making healthy food choices.

I was fairly confident that he would make me proud.

Don't ya love it how kids keep you humble and remind you

that there is always something to improve on?

What? What's wrong with olives and Fritos?

There's some grain in there somewhere.

And I'm sure the "it's a 'veggie' factor" far

outweighs the "they're loaded with fat" factor.

Whatever.

and p.s. Mindy, don't ever let his hair get that long.

It's not cute.

You're acting like a child!

So if you've ever been to Chuck-E-Cheese's you are painfully aware of:

a. the absurd amount of germs surrounding your children

b. the disturbing lack of parenting that goes on there

c. the "ride" that takes a high quality photo of your munchkin.

My kids love this little attraction and usually end up spending most of their tokens on these photo keepsakes. Last time we were there, I had a pile of pictures, as usual. Makenna came up and handed me another for the stack.

You may be wondering who the cute little girl next to her is.

I was too. Makenna said, "I think her name is Amber. We're friends now".

Simple as that.

Kids just say, "Hi. Want to play?" They don't need any background information. A first name will suffice. They don't care where you live, if you have a cool bike or what you got on your last spelling test. They just want to play. And if the other kid says no, they just shrug their shoulders and move on to the next kid. They are best friends...until mom says it's time to go.

Adults are a little more guarded. We consider things like what kind of car you drive, how much money you make and what your pant size is. We take friendships slowly and carefully. We have expectations and rules. And if a friendship goes awry, we get hurt or offended.

When does this change take place? When do those walls come up? And why do we let them?

When does the basic human need for bonding turn into judgment and fear?

Is it because we're shy or uncomfortable going outside of our comfort zone? Or maybe we're just so busy trying to get to the next thing, the thought doesn't even occur to us.

Whatever the reason, I say we all start acting like children again. They have the ability to look outside of themselves and see the good in someone else. Let's pretend that the waiting area at Jiffy Lube is Chuck-E-Cheese's (same amount of grime right?). Or that neighbor you've never talked to is that girl waiting for a partner on the see-saw. Just do it, I dare ya.

It happened to me recently at soccer practice. I was trying to keep an eye on 3 kids on the playground, one on the soccer field and one in desperate need of a snack. While I was rummaging through the suitcase that is my purse, I heard a pretty voice from behind me say..."Hello."

I turned around to see the matching pretty face (and gorgeous hair, perfect teeth and teensy waist) smiling at me. I said hello back and we started easily chatting about soccer, kids and life in general. After the 5 or so minutes that we talked it was clear that we had many things in common and it felt like we were old friends. Suzette was kind and genuine and I think I was as well. We smiled and said, "See ya next week".

Imagine if she hadn't said anything or if I had not responded. Instead, we are able to chat at soccer games and greet each other as friends at school functions. I am happy to say that I know and admire her and her beautiful family. And ya know that I'm gonna like her cause she named her son after a baseball player.

Recently at the first grade awards assembly, we sat by each other as we watched our two six year olds receive the award for...you'll never guess...being friendly to others

**

while our two four year old boys played with each other like they've been friends forever.

So I felt the need to snap a picture of the radiant Suzette and the thrown together Mindy.

If only it had that nice Chuck-E-Cheese's border around it.

Just goes to show ya...being childlike isn't bad. So yeah, I know we're all in a hurry but next time you see that cashier at the store who never judges you for getting Ho Ho's every single time, give her an extra bit of conversation. (Unless it's the one at Costco who asks me every stinkin' time if they're all mine). And maybe the receptionist at the dentist's office would like to hear about something other than your bi-cuspids. Or leave a comment on the blog of someone you don't know but love to read. (I'm getting better at this, I just feel so stalkery).

Or maybe just a simple hello to someone you don't know cause...ya never know...

This picture:

could end up in their wedding video. :)

Here's to being friendly.

**remember me mocking the high quality photos at Chuck-E-Cheese's....yeah sorry.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

Lying kids are like poker players.

They each have a "Tell".

A little sign giving away their bluff.

Most professional poker players try to disguise these

"tells" by wearing sun glasses or horrible hats.

It must work for them because they make ridiculous amounts of money.

I would not have been a successful poker player.

When I was a kid I was always shocked when my

mother knew that I wasn't being completely honest with her.

How ever did she know?

I'm sure I messed up my hair and

rubbed my eyes enough to look as though I had been napping for hours.

(Unfortunately, my 5 year old concept of time was

much more skewed than my wiley mother's.)

I now realize it was not that my mom had some

truth uncovering ability...

I just wasn't very smart or creative.

I don't think any sort of eyewear or hat could have helped me.

I was a lousy liar.

Fortunately, my kids inherited this trait.

I've got their "tells" down pretty pat...

except for one of them.

Lindsay just breaks down crying, racked with guilt that

she has disappointed her mother.

And she rarely lies anyway.

Easy Peasy.

Miss Makenna says "uhm" and "well" a lot

while she looks around aimlessly......

like candy from a baby.

Ethan simply stares at me in silence.

Tyson is just fat.

They do the same thing every time they lie.

Now, if she knew the difference between

a spade and a club and if it

wasn't breaking some sort of child labor laws,

I would sign

Olivia

up on the National Poker Tour....

Lie detector tests break down in fear when she is nearby.

She's figured it out -

no glasses or hats necessary.

She has no "tell".

She simply does something different every time.

It's very confusing.

It's like she has some juvenile form of Jedi Mind Power...

"These aren't the droids you're looking for...move along".

She's very clever and quick on her feet.

My only hope is that she will channel this power for good

and become a best-selling fiction author instead

of author of some Ponzi scheme.

I've somehow got to crack her.

Since Gepetto already owns the nose growing trick

I'm currently in the process of developing a pair of pants

that will actually catch on fire when a child tells a lie.

But I've got to hurry up,

I only have 9 years until she's 16...

and dating boys...

and driving cars.

I may have to resort to a plan involving handcuffing her to her bed.

You know, if the pants don't work out.

In every job that must be done....

They say that cleaning a house while children live there

is like shoveling the walk while it's still snowing.

Some days feel like a light flutter and others feel like a

category 6 blizzard.
When I was a kid, I shared a

room with my two sisters.

Needless to say, it was difficult

to keep a tidy room.

I HATED when we had to clean it.

I knew if I ever got a genie in a bottle

(which I totally thought was possible until I was about 12)

that I would only need one of the three promised wishes.

Not money, not a bigger house, not the latest toy.

No. I wanted something much

more valuable.

I wanted so badly

to be able to snap my fingers like Mary Poppins

and have things magically put themselves away.

Oh to have that amazing power.

That would still be my one wish.

Imagine all the extra time.

So, while cleaning is not my favorite thing

I do love a clean house.

So this off track we did some deep cleaning in the basement.

You know the kind that only happens a few times a year.

The baseboards get cleaned, the walls washed, the mattresses vacuumed.

Every nook and cranny is attended to.
We went through clothes and shoes and discarded the things we no longer need.

We threw away papers and trinkets,

and got rid of the one-armed barbies and hairless dolls.

It was quite an undertaking.

I hate doing this but love the end result.

This is the first time I really involved the girls in this process.

You all know that it's so much easier to just do it yourself

but I feel it is important to teach them at a younger age so

that when they move out of my home,

they will know how to keep their home.

After three days and a few temper tantrums

(by everyone involved)

we had a very clean and organized basement and bedrooms.

Nothing was out of it's appropriate place.

The girls were especially proud of their efforts

and were very excited to show Daddy.

After we had the talk about how lovely their spaces were

and how important it is to keep things neat and clean,

the girls each promised me that they would keep things as they were.

I actually had some confidence in them.

I walked out of Makenna and Olivia's room and heard this conversation.

Olivia: "I love when our room is so clean".

Makenna: "Me too. Don't you think we should keep it like this all the time".

Olivia: "Yeah. We should...

.

.

.

But we probably won't".

I better get a bigger shovel.

Junk Drawer Imagination

So the kids spent some time over at

Poppy's house a while back.

They came home thrilled about all the

work they did helping Poppy clean out his junk drawers.

They were so excited to share with me all of the

amazing new treasures that Poppy let them keep.

Very useful things like this never been used lotion cap.

And this key ring decoration that

I think I had on my first keyring at 16 years old.

You can clearly see that it is in pristine condition

and worth keeping.

And of course, the very rare

"rubber bottom of a cane or walker thingy".

All very useful and important things, no?

I rolled my eyes and giggled at my cute dad.

I saw useless, nothingness.

My clever children saw this.

They saw a great little game to play.

The girls were overjoyed at Ethan's reaction to the

mini baseball game.

They spent hours (okay, 25 minutes)

throwing the lotion cap ball,

watching Ethan (amazingly) hit it with the Munchkin bat,

while trying desperately to catch it in the

"rubber, bottom of a cane or walker thingy" glove.

I have stepped on the "ball" many times,

I've found the "bat" in the utensil drawer

and I've watched my baby shove the "glove" in his mouth.

(I can't think about that one too much without throwing up a little)

I have wanted to throw this preemie pastime in the garbage

on several occasions. I just can't quite do it.

They're just too sweet a reminder of the

easiness of childhood.

Plus it's going to make Christmas shopping a breeze.

Now I just have to figure out how to wrap the junk drawer.

Here is my new family of  five kids.  I can't believe it.  Blah, Blah, blah...............