"Sometimes I just hate my kids!!"

WHAT?!? Who in the crap says that?
Yeah, so I'm sitting there at soccer and this lady is behind me on the phone. I hear her whining about being a mother and how hard it is. 'These kids' take up so much of her time and she is so bugged that she's stuck there on a Saturday watching these 6 year olds run up and down the field.
"And all they do is cry and complain," she cries and complains.
The whole time,her younger child is running in front of people screaming and stepping on blankets. Apparently she had had enough and yelled into the phone, "Ugh, sometimes I just hate my kids!".
She then proceeded to grab the toddler by the arm and then take the 6 year old kicking and screaming, out of the game.
She left in a huff and marched the toddler, the disappointed 6 yr. old and the black cloud that most likely follows her everywhere, to the car and they all drove off into unhappiness.
Now I'm the first to admit that motherhood is hard and a daily challenge.
I have been spit up on, puked on, and peed on, cried at, yelled at, and spit at. I've been tired, exhausted and darn near comatose. I've cleaned up more messes, fixed more owies, and done more laundry than I can even think about.
I hate doing dishes, I don't like dusting and I just don't even wash the windows.
And then there's the arguing that goes on between 5 children under 10. I'm convinced that kids just like to argue. The topic is not even important...
they just like to bug each other.
I try to hold it together but as much as I would like to think I'm Ghandi, I'm probably closer to Genghis Khan.
There are days I think I might lose it.
But I would NEVER say that I hate my children. I wouldn't even think it because I cannot even fathom feeling it.
I am humbled daily that God thought enough of me to send me FIVE of His children.
They have such incredible gifts to share with me.
My Lindsay Lou Bug got an extra service gene in heaven.
I depend on her way more than any 9 1/2 year old should be depended upon. She is so eager to please and is willing to do anything that she thinks will make me happy. She succeeds at everything she tries and is humble about it. She is such a fantastic oldest sister and the kids look up to her for every decision. It's such a comfort to know that she will lead them in the right direction. She is very in tune and recognizes significant moments. She wants everyone to like her and be her friend. She instantly loves and is fiercely loyal. I think she is amazing.
My little Kenna Menna is the definition of wonderful. She is full of wonder. She can spend hours in her imagination and never get bored. She has taught me to look at things as a child. It's easy to be cynical and get distracted by daily duties and she constantly reminds me how lucky I am to live in a world where caterpillars magically turn into butterflies and tiny seeds become towering trees. Kenna is the epitome of childhood. She sees the possibility in everything and everyone. She loves music and has a beautiful little voice. She shares her talents with anyone. She adores babies and cries every time that Sarah McClauchlan Animal Cruelty commercial comes on. She prays sincerely and with perfect faith not only for her family but for random strangers. She cut off 15 inches of hair so another little girl could have some hair. She is hope and compassion wrapped up in bubblegum and hairbows. I just love her.
My Olio is like the yummiest, homemade piece of chocolate cake... doused in gasoline, lit on fire and thrown in your face. Her humor and charm come naturally and she is a boatload of fun to be around if you don't mind being told what to do and how to do it.
She is never afraid to be herself or to speak her mind which thrills me and also scares the crap out of me. She doesn't let anyone tell her what to do {including me} I admire her confidence and secretly wish I had more of it. She makes me laugh several times a day and I am sure that we will always be BFF's. She keeps everything fun and exciting. And I just love that husky little voice of hers.
My little man Ethan is such a joy. As long as he has a car, truck, train or all of the above somewhere on his person he is a happy camper. {this is especially helpful at dance recitals and while visiting teaching}. Ethan loves his sisters and waits by the door for them every day to come home from school. He is anxiously waiting for his little brother to grow up. I find matchbox cars in Tyson's jammies all the time. Ethan often forces helicopters and dinosaurs into Tyson's fat little hands and then gets frustrated when instead of making the appropriate sound effects, the baby simply shoves them into his drooly mouth. Ethan loves to be outside and is enjoying his latest discovery...the wonderful world of bugs. He teaches me that life isn't too hard if you have a good attitude. (and a toy or two). He is my little buddy and I think he is awesome.
Tyson is so....six months old. I'm still learning his personality, his likes {mommy milk} and his dislikes {not being held}. He giggles and plays and he has got to be the sweetest, fattest baby I've seen in at least 3 years. And then there's that special look and smile that he gives only to me. It's like I am the single greatest thing to ever happen to him.
Everyone knows how I felt about having a FIFTH CHILD. I was so worried and was apprehensive about it even to the day he was born. The concern over what kind of mother I would be to him was almost overwhelming. But after all the chaos of delivery and the nurses and doctors had left, Greg went to make calls and it was just me and Tyson.
He looked up at me with those minute old eyes and a moment passed between us where spirit communicated with spirit and that little fifth child thanked me for letting him come to earth to be in our family.

It is a moment I will never forget and one I will cherish forever.
He will always be my baby and I will always be his mother.

My mother came to everything we ever did. And there were 7 of us. I don't know how she did it but I always knew that she loved me. Thanks Mom. You're the best example I could have. You too Jill. When I get flustered I picture you two and I think, "I can do it." Dr. Pepper helps too.
So even though the laundry is always behind, the vacuuming hasn't been done and my hair looks like Ethan did it, I hope my kids know that I don't hate them.