What I'm Doing Matters.

Saturday was nice.

I sat in the warm sun watching children kick a soccer ball and laugh and play.
We worked in the yard and made it look beautiful.

I planted flowers.

I went to bed exhausted from a hard day of work and sunshine.

Listened to a lovely talk in church on Sunday

and then visited with family on a deliciously warm April evening.

And I watched this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8K9s7_k3TM&feature=player_embedded

I'm sorta important.

I feel motivated.

In some countries, P.J.'s are considered work attire.

This is me.
I don't usually look like this.
Usually I am active and bubbly and happy to be here.
I am in a funk!
I don't know if it's been the late winter weather, my allergies
*I want to scratch my eyeballs out of my head*,
stress, or if my jammies are simply much too comfortable.
Whatever the reason, I just can't quite get it together.
My brain knows the game plan. My body has it's jersey on.
And my spirit's got the pom poms out and ready.
They're just not all being team players together.
They've all dropped the ball.
I have so many responsiblities and obligations that need to be met every day.
I know, without doubt that my greatest opportunity for growth is to be wife to Greg and mother to 5 beautiful children. I know that.
but there are days when I just wish I could go and hide in the corner for awhile.
That sounds so selfish and childish but sometimes it feels so much bigger than me.
It's just too much.
I just want to lay on my couch. I just know that Ryan Seacrest and his American Idols will make all of those bills get paid and the laundry will disappear if I'm too busy looking up meaningless nonsense on the internet....right? If I watch the Food Network, won't dinner magically appear?
It doesn't help that my husband is beginning to resemble "The Rock" since
he's been doing P90X.
I am looking a little less solid.
I just want all the yucky stuff to go away.
Of course, I am very aware that the Fairy Godmothers of the world are all on vacation in the Bahamas and I am on my own.
I know as women, and as mothers we expect ourselves to be 'Super-women'.
These amazing over-acheivers who can keep a perfect home, attend all field trips and PTA meetings, serve everyone, make gourmet meals and look fantastic.
It's just not realistic.
From the time I was young, I have always been concerned with how people perceive me.
I want people to like me and think I'm a good person.
I don't want anyone to think that I'm not good enough. That I don't do enough.
I guess over the years I have learned that it doesn't really matter what people think I am like,
it's what I knowI am like.
Does anyone else ever feel like this? Am I normal?

I know I do nothing but gush over my amazing husband on this blog
but yeah...he's somethin else. He has expertly walked the tightrope of letting me be a tantrum throwing 6 year old and encouraging me to be the woman we both know I can be.
He is a complete partner in every sense of the definition.

As a kid, if we were being lazy my dad would say to us, "Engage Maverick".
I just need to "engage" again.
So this morning, I deleted all my shows off the DVR.
I made homemade banana bread.
and I mated the two baskets of socks that have been sitting there for weeks.
(another reason to love summer.....flip flops)
Maybe I'll go get a spray on tan, because everyone knows that celulite looks better tanned. Right?
little steps.

p.s. I'm really okay.

Lost in Translation

Ethan: "Mom, can I watch the "furnace creatures"?

I of course, had no idea what movie he was talking about.

Me: "What movie is that"?

Ethan: "You know, it has a game on it."

I still did not know what he was talking about. I told him to go find the movie he wanted.

He came back with 12 movies ranging from

Tom and Jerry to Barbie Fairytopia (don't tell Greg).

I asked him which one and he said,

"any of them, I just want to watch the 'furnace creatures'."

Still clueless.

So I picked "Finding Nemo".

He seemed excited.

"Yeah, that's a good "furnace creatures".

-whatever kid-

I started the movie and he got upset. He didn't want the movie,

he wanted the "furnace creatures".

after about 5 minutes I finally realized he wanted to watch the

"bonus features".

Obviously, I'm not as fluent in 'Ethanese' as I thought I was.

Live, Laugh, Love

This saying is everywhere right?

I've seen it on wedding cakes, in dr.'s offices, and on blogs.

I'm sure you've seen it in vinyl on someone's living room wall.

You know when you hear or see something so often you just kind of ignore it?

That's kind of how I am with this saying.

Don't get me wrong, it really is a beautiful saying.

It was just kind of tired to me.

And then I was going through some pictures of a sledding/snowmobiling trip we recently took with my whole family.

As I was looking at the pictures this saying just kept popping into my head.

We simply had a ball.

Live

It was a Saturday morning and we were all still in jammies enjoying the day off. We had just enjoyed a yummy breakfast and I was anticipating a day of nothingness at home.
Then my cute dad called and wanted us to come play.

*insert bad attitude here*

I was reluctant at the thought of getting 4 kids, a baby and 2 adults 'snowworthy'.

I asked Greg if he wanted to go (half hoping that he would say no).

Of course, he thought it would be great fun.

So off we went.

And he was right.

We all had such a fun time with my family

and I was so very glad we went.

I feel like a lot of times in my mind, it's just easier to stay home.

It's inconvenient to get snowsuits and accessories on.

(that's 14 gloves, 14 boots, 32 socks, 7 hats, and 7 scarves people)

...and you know at least one of the kids will have to go to the bathroom

after

they're all done up in the snow gear.

But we all know that we have to live life and not just exist in our comfy jammies.

The kids built a snow fort, threw snowballs, and made memories.

I hate to think that not only would my children have missed out on the fun,

I would have as well.

Live

laugh

This is my cute sis in law Steph.

She was trying to take our picture and just

couldn't quite get us both in the frame.

This is about the 5th attempt and we were laughing

so hard. (like pee your pants hard).

By the time we finally got a picture it felt like I had just done

an ab workout.

I am a firm believer in laughing.

especially at yourself.

Love

I have to be one of the most fortunate people ever to have so many people in my life who genuinely love me and accept me for who I am.

How lucky am I to know without doubt that I have a partner

who loves and supports me in everything I do.

To have someone who usually has to rummage through

the sock basket to find a pair of matching socks

yet never even complains about it.

Yay for me.

I have no doubt that if I randomly out of the blue told Greg

that I wanted to become a bungee jumping instructor,

he would do whatever it took to make it happen. Lucky girl.

It really is all about

not just living but trying to

live well,

finding things to laugh at and to

laugh often,

and not only being loved but learning to

love much

in return.