Don't Kill the Messenger!!

Okay, so we all know how I feel about Fall. I wrote about it here.

Poor Fall. It's the season that I hate to love.

Fall is absolutely lovely. It is such a beautiful season and has so much to offer.

The need for a jacket in the morning, only to ditch it on the walk home from school.

That crunch as you walk over those fallen leaves. I love pumpkins and Hot Cider and those stinking candy corns. (I may or may not eat full bags in one sitting...stop judging).

I remember so well planning for weeks what I would be for Halloween.

Fall is lovely. Really it is. It's what comes after Fall that disheartens me.

I know, I know....it's not Fall's fault. It's just doing it's job.

Fall is like the cop who knocks on your door at 2a.m. when your teenager is after curfew. You go to the door...you can see the lights flashing in your driveway. You see your teen standing beside the officer. This could be the most handsome, kind officer you've ever met

but you know what's coming. And you know it's not good.

Fall is that 'you've been served' guy. He looks all nice and friendly and then

Bam!! You've been served. (Just so you know, Heidi Klum is serious about those restraining order threats.)

Fall is that cute waiter at a new restaraunt you've been wanting to try.

He's all charming and flirty (even though you are fully aware that you are old and that he just wants a good tip)

and then he tells you they don't serve Dr. Pepper.

It's the super nice nurse with great hair at your OB/GYN office. She's all smiles until she hands you that...that paper napkin of cover up. (and why are those exam rooms so blasted cold?)

They are all the bearers of bad news.

Fall is a bad news bearer.

It's not Fall's fault.

It's just an unfortunate set of circumstances that she is wedged inbetween the most glorious season and the most grotesque season.

Maybe there should be a post fall/pre winter season.

We could call it "Oh Crap! Here it comes!' I think Hallmark would make a fortune.

The seasons are just a John Hughes 80's movie really.
Spring is shiny and new and makes people feel good. Spring is the peppy cheerleader of the seasons. Everyone likes Spring.
Summer is the Homecoming Queen. She's glitzy and gets a lot of attention. All the other seasons secretly want to be her. Everyone likes her because she's pretty.
Fall is that quiet art girl with the natural beauty. She is a very deep thinker and is very witty but she doesn't say much so she gets looked over most of the time. (this part could also be played by John Cusak)
Winter is that jerky football player who's so obsessed with himself that he teases Fall and causes her to retreat back to her art studio to be alone with her thoughts.
Come on Fall!! Be tougher. Don't let Winter bully you from the main hall. You deserve to eat lunch with the cool kids too. Hang out for a while. Show him that you've got something to say.
You could rock a tiara or a pom pom. And I bet you'd get the coolest song on the soundtrack too.
Okay, I'm done ranting about my hate of all things cold and wintry and the lovely season that precedes all cold and wintry things.
That is all.

The simple things

There's nothing like a good bowl of ice cream.

This one would eat ice cream every day if I let him.

Wouldn't that be just lovely?

Anticipation

So my sweet 9 year old Makenna found an old roll of film in a box the other day.
She held it up and with the utmost sincerity asked, "Mom, what the heck is this?"
I tried to explain it and then finally just went and got the memory card out of the digital camera and she knew what I was talking about.

Uhm....holy cow!!

I remember my first camera. I was maybe 14 and I got it for Christmas. I felt very grown up.
I recall learning carefully how to load the film into the camera. I also learned (by mistake) that you must not open the camera until the entire roll of film has been used. I took my little camera with me everywhere. But I only took it out for special occasions because you know, it only had 24 exposures. (sometimes you even squeezed 25 out of it.) It usually took me about a month to fill up the roll. (I didn't want to waste any of those precious exposures on just anyone or anything). Sometimes it would be so long that I would actually forget what was at the beginning of the roll.
Anyhoo, then you would take the roll of film to the store where you would fill out an envelope with your info on it. You would carefully slide the film into the envelope, seal it up and put it in the slot. Then you would wait 7 days while it was sent out to be developed at some other location. Finally, you would pedal on up to the store to retreive your photos. You'd hand over your hard earned baby-sitting cash and then you would start to undo the package even before you were out of the store. You would eagarly flip through the glossy prints only to be dissapointed that the picture you sneakily took of that cute boy you liked was out of focus. Oh man, the one of you and your best friends at Lagoon has half of your heads cut off. And that one where your hair was really cute that day and you looked super skinny?......yep, your eyes were closed.
And then there was that blasted red eye. Future generations will probably come to the conclusion that most people who lived during the last half of the 20th century were possessed by demons and surrounded by some hazy darkness.
And then, if you had to make a copy of a picture...yeah, you had to search through all of the negatives until you found it and then had to go and repeat the process all over again...and pay for it again.
Enter the Digital camera.
My four year old not only knows how to take a picture, he can look at it instantly and edit. He decides right then and there if he should delete it. He can tell if Daddy was looking off instead of at the camera. He knows immediately if Lindsay's eyes are closed. He can ask Olivia to smile instead of make a goofy face. He can take as many shots of the same pose as he wants. He is armed with a memory card. And then you take it to your computer, download, edit, enlarge, and print. You can even send a copy off to Grandma. It's relatively instant.
"Oh, you have to have an 'I am Special' poster?....tomorrow morning? No sweat. Let's head to the office and print off your life in 5 minutes."
No waiting.
But also no anticipation.

I vividly remember waiting in line for 20 minutes to buy tickets to Jurassic Park. Then we waited another hour and a half in line before it even started so we didn't end up on the front row with a headache and vertigo.
Now you can buy your movie tickets in your pajamas, 3 weeks before it even comes out. You show up 2 minutes before it starts and find your seat. It's convenient with 5 kids that's for sure.
We can order something and have it shipped to our home OVERNIGHT.
That's like...mind-boggling when you really think about it. Things used to take weeks or months.
It's all very convenient and fast and gives us more time to hurry up and quickly do other things.
The last time I was getting my oil changed, (at Wal-Mart...don't tell Greg.) the guy in front of me was like freaking out that it was going to take them 20 minutes to change the oil in his car.
"I can't believe it takes that long." And he threw himself into a chair and pulled out his phone and laptop and spent his time in the virtual world.
I sat in my chair and watched a little 70ish year old couple wander aimlessly around the windshield wipers and floor mats and giggled at the mental picture of Greg and I shopping for car accessories in 40 years.
I flipped through a golf magazine and hoped that Ethan or Tyson would grow up to be a professional golfer. (Lots of money, low risk of injury...good choice). I watched Tyson study two ants crawl around on the floor, (I know, gross). He was fascinated.
Now I'm not implying that my time was spent more wisely than the other guy's. I like my electronic life as much as anyone. I just enjoyed my stay at Wal-Lube a little more I think.
So my question is this.
Are we losing the joy of anticipation? The excitement of waiting for something. The appreciation that comes after receiving. The simple virtue of patience.
Is it so wrong to slow down and just....*gasp* wait?
I guess it's a good thing we still have Christmas and the first day of school right?
Oh, and the Tooth Fairy...she's always good for some excitement.
(when she shows up. We have a crappy Tooth Fairy.
She has severe memory loss, she's totally inconsistent and she's kind of a cheapskate.)

I'm suffering from "BHTB Syndrome"...help!!

It is a very real and serious syndrome. It is a silent syndrome. Full of stereotypes and judgement. People don't like to talk about it.

I have seen friends and family suffer. The effects from this condition last for years and whole families become victims of BHTB. I have been afraid of becoming a victim for some time and unfortunately my fears are becoming reality.

Professionals are concerned that they are nowhere near finding a treatment let alone a cure for this syndrome.

I therefore, am taking it upon myself to make people aware of this condition and supporting me in my cause.

What is BHTB Syndrome?

"But He's The Baby".

The symptoms are subtle at first but quickly become easily recognizable.

He is still called the "baby" at 2 years old.

He simply points and grunts at an object and no less than 3 people rush to bring it to him.

You no longer hear that annoying whine or cry. You have simply learned to tune it out even though people in the same room would like to put him outside with the dog.

Rules that were strictly enforced with older siblings are either ignored or simply forgotten.

A smile or pout provides "the baby" with whatever he wants.

When the "baby" gets hurt it is always someone else's fault.

He stays up much later than older siblings and gets to sleep with mom and dad.

You find yourself absent-mindedly letting him drink from your glass of Dr. Pepper without even realizing that he's doing it.........and then let him do it again 5 minutes later.

Time-outs last about 5 1/2 seconds.

"No" really means.."keep asking me and eventually I'll give in".

Please...I need your help! The closest I've ever come to knowing a celebrity is dating a guy who once met Carrot Top in an airport bathroom so this is a grass roots effort. There will be no Celebrity Telethons hogging all the channels.

We must inform mothers everywhere. This an important issue. If it continues to go unaddressed, we will all suffer. We will be surrounded by spoiled, entitled, "give me what I want" adults. We must act now!!

Oh, I have to go...the "baby" needs me.