Now I'm a Believer..

Remember this post?
I was having a pretty rough time finding the energy I needed to get through the day.
I was not sleeping well and was therefore tired all the time. I wasn't eating well. You know how it goes right? You pick the leftover PB&J off your toddler's plate, throw down 1/2 a bananna and a Dr. Pepper and that's lunch. I had misplaced my "ummppphh" and it was affecting me in all aspects of my life.
I know, I know, I have 5 kids and a husband and lots of responsibilities. Of course, I'm going to get a little run down. But it was something different. My body felt weighted. And I don't mean fat or overweight...I felt heavy and slow...like a slug. I was exhausted. No amount of Dr. Pepper or Red Bull was going to help.
I knew I needed...something.
And then Greg came home and told me of a cleanse he had recently heard about. I had heard about colon cleanses and didn't want to do that. He said that this one supposedly cleansed not only your colon but your whole body. It would remove the toxins in your body, give you tons of energy AND one of the side effects is.....weight loss.
WHAT!?!?
Give me energy and lose weight?
Now, if I were a super-hero..my name would be 'Skeptagirl'. My powers would be to doubt everything that sounded too good to be true.
I would have a sidekick called 'The Yeah Right Kid' who would roll his eyes and say
"Yeah Right!" all the time. My arch nemesis would be the "As seen on T.V. people". I would go around exposing all the charletons and saving humankind a fortune in $19.99 increments.
(and of course, I would look smokin' hot in my super-hero outfit).
So naturally I was not convinced but at this point I was so desperate for some energy that I had two options to chose from.
1. Try the cleanse.
2. Get hooked on Crystal Meth.
Seeing as how Crystal Meth is illegal (I don't look good in orange or jumpsuits) and much more expensive than the cleanse, I decided that doing the cleanse would be the better solution.
Fast forward to me 10 pounds lighter, 10 inches smaller and filled with energy.
And I sleep better.
Now, you must know that I would tell you if something was a bunch of hoooey. I wouldn't exaggerate or mislead. I will tell you what I really thought about it.
It takes a certain amount of discipline but nothing too difficult.
A chocolate (or vanilla..if you're boring) shake in the morning, a sensible lunch, a shake at night. And tons of water.
Then there are the cleanse days. They consist of the cleanse drink and snacks. And tons of H2O.
It was actually much easier than I thought it might be.
I hate it when people don't tell how much something costs or try to make it sound less. You know what I mean? Cause $39.99 sounds so much cheaper than $40.00. Whatever.
The 11 day cleanse costs $150.00 and was worth every Wendy's junior cheeseburger
I won't be buying. It has made such a difference in the kind of mother and wife I am.
I did gain back about 3 pounds since then but I would have willingly gained 3 pounds in exchange for the energy I felt and the knowledge that I was cleaning my body from the inside out. The everyday toxins we put into our bodies are bad. They're like dryer lint. If you don't empty that dryer lint thingy, all that lint sits there and it makes your dryer run twice as hard and use much more energy and probably eat socks. I just needed to empty my dryer lint thingy.
I feel like one of those shiny energy efficient front loading dryers (in super-hero red of course).
So now, I've convinced Greg and my sister to do the cleanse. They will be starting on Monday and they are very excited about it. Let me know if you want to be a shiny new dryer too.
The cleanse is from Isagenix and you can go here to learn more about it. If you would like to do it with Greg and Melinda on Monday, let me know and I can get you the product in time.
For the low, low price of $19.99...or so.
Here's to healthy, clean living.

Self-esteem, your table is ready.

So lately I've been feeling a little blah, blah, bleeh about myself.

My hair is giving me this "you're not the boss of me" attitude and I just can't regain control. Not that I'm not used to this. I get it every single day from Olivia. She recently perfected the "over the shoulder, eye-roll as she's walking away" look.


She's five. No kidding I did not prompt her. I simply asked her to clean her room while I was holding the camera and this is what she did.

Every day is pretty much a really bad hair day. Right around 4 months after I have a baby, my hair decides it no longer wants to be a part of my life and packs it's bags and storms off in a childish huff. It's an ugly break-up for everyone involved. It falls out by the handfuls and it causes me daily stress and anxiety.
But, as bad as I think it is, it is not this nightmare.







On top of that I just can't seem to shake the extra baby poundage. I know, I know...I can hear you saying it. "You've just had your 5th baby, relax, give it a minute, you'll lose it, don't worry." I know all that and it sounds good and all but in the back of my mind there is this annoying little creature running around saying things like "neener, neener..you'll never fit into that fav swim suit again" or the equally depressing, "hello, meet your new best friend, the swimsuit cover-up. You'll never go anywhere without her."




If only that little creature would run around in other people's minds as well.



I've also felt a teeny tiny bit...okay TOTALLY, COMPLETELY disorganized with my time. It's noon or later sometimes when I finally hop in the shower. And don't tell, but sometimes I jump in and *gasp* I don't wash my hair. And then there are days when I simply throw on some clean clothes and spray myself with Fabreeze and then avoid close proximity with anyone who smells like strawberries or coconut.

Still, I am not attracting insects who's sole purpose in life is to eat as much rotting matter as possible before they die.
You can go throw up now.......really...I'll wait.




And then there's the brain damage that has apparently occurred. I find myself having difficulty with the simplest of tasks. And it seems that recently they started introducing Rocket Science to 2nd graders and trying to pass it off as simple math. How dare they. And my memory..don't even get me started on that. Uhm...what were we just talking about? Hmm.
But at least I get to be stupid and forgetful in the privacy of my home in front of small children. This sad lady got to be stupid and do so for a much larger and harsher audience. Poor thing. I wonder how many times Regis asked her if that was her final answer.


For quite a while after I have a baby I feel like I look pretty Frumpy most of the time. I try my best but I just don't feel like the Fashion Diva I would like to be.
But then just when I'm afraid I've hit rock-bottom with the fashion sense and good taste......





Yep ladies. That's just what you think it is.
My question is this. SERIOUSLY???




So even though I'm feeling a little like a slug at the moment, at least I can be grateful there's not a snot-nosed 7 year old boy standing over me with a giant salt shaker.

Hope you feel good today.
Here's to common sense and good taste.